Episode 24: [JANE-UARY] Dense and Densibility

Continuing Jane-uary (IS IT OVER YET?!), this week we watched the 1995 adaptation of Sense and Sensibility, directed by Ang Lee and starring Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, and Alan Rickman. It also happens to star the real-life Mr. Emma Thompson (Greg Wise) as a truly yucky cad, plus Imelda Staunton (sorry boo, someday I'll remember your name the first time), and Hugh Laurie as pretty minor characters. Overall, a pretty good movie, but as always, bogged down by Jane Austen's circuitous plot lines and more than a few tropes we've seen her trot out just in the three weeks we've been doing this. 

Episode 23: [JANE-UARY] Badly done, Emma

This week we were joined by our friend Nicole (who was originally scheduled to talk about Sense and Sensibility next week, but was afraid she wouldn't be able to bear hearing us tear her favorite apart). The 1996 Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle Emma was a favorite of Lindsay's in middle school, but when we took a closer look... it leaves a few things to be desired. Specifically: any semblance of chemistry between the two romantic leads. But hey, it's based on the book that inspired Clueless, so it's not all bad. 

[FIRE SALE] Episode 21: She could be a farmer in those clothes

This is the final episode of our 2017 fire sale, and it's another one of our favorite movies: Marie Antoinette. In fact, we love it so much that it was the theme of our joint 16th/21st birthday party in 2007. Honestly so happy to know that our girl Kiki got to live in this candy-colored Rococo Versailles fantasy while filming with her director-of-choice Sofia Coppola. 

[FIRE SALE] Episode 20: Her Proper Functions?

Continuing our fire sale of episodes that we recorded in 2017, we humbly present our recap of one of our actual favorite movies of all time: Elizabeth. It stars the #1 lady of our dreams, the luminous, enchanting, perfect, elegant, husky-voiced (etc) Cate Blanchett. This one has so many great and classic scenes (and BITCH! I love an episodic plot!), but our current favorite is "What?! What-uuuuh? What?!"

[FIRE SALE] Episode 19: Too Much of a Good Thing is WOOOOOONDERFUL

We recorded this episode literal ages ago, but when we realized it had somehow gotten shoved out of the editorial calendar, we knew we had to make it right. This movie is such a good, campy time that it absolutely had to be represented here. 

Episode 22: [JANE-UARY] An Unmitigated Ass

picture of tom cruise's three front teeth

Can't wait to hear more about Reverend Fordyce's opinions about how I should be.

Episode 18: DEAD DOVE, Do Not Eat!

Rounding out Bec the Halls November, we watched The Prestige. This one is honestly just so good and so labyrinthine (hey-o, Bowie pun!). Even though I'd seen it a few times several years ago, there were still some details that surprised me all over again. 

(If it's been a few years since you watched Arrested Development, the title of this episode came from a great visual gag after Buster kills a dove he purchased for an illusion.)

NEXT WEEK: The episode about Behind the Candelabra we recorded several months ago! If you need a refresher, you can check it out on HBOGo. 

Episode 17: A Premise (?)

For the third week of Bec the Halls November, we watched a truly underwhelming film: A Promise. I immediately forgot most of this movie as soon as the credits rolled, because my brain efficiently sloughs off what it doesn't need to think about. 

Episode 16: Blunderbuss Cuttlefish at it again

This is our second David Nichols film and our third Rebecca hall joint, and boy... this is movie just a good-ass time. Catherine Tate serving you the delightful 80s English mom to James McAvoy's college freshman son, Bumblebee Coffeecake in a shocking turn as the collegiate version of every uptight dweeb he's ever played, and Rebecca Hall giving you unreal levels of cool and chic liberal college activist. 

If you haven't treated yourself to a viewing of this charming movie recently (or ever), I can't recommend it highly enough. It's a balm for these trying times. 

Honestly, college boys are such trash and so beneath me it's just insane.

Episode 15: Frosted Nixons

This week we're kicking off Bec the Halls month. To be honest, we filmed this one a whiiiile back, so the order for a few weeks is going to be a little wonky. Bear with us.

At the end of this one, we said the next episode would be Behind the Candelabra. It was the next one we recorded, but it won't be the next one published, ya dig? You're a smart gal, you can handle it. 

Anyway, the actual next movie we'll be discussing is David Nichols' Starter for 10, which is a heck of a good time if you haven't already seen it. Get into it, berb.

Why is our girl Rebecca the only female character in this film? Stay tuned.

Episode 14: The Vuh-Vitch

Man, it's a dark one. This week, we squint our way through The Witch- a great movie with the lighting of an old Cheers episode.

Dear God. Make me a bird, so I can terrorize my mom's tiddies.

Episode 13: The A-spook-ening

We entered this viewing skeptically because we've been burned by BBC productions in the past, but this was a pretty spooky good time. Our girl Rebecca Hall serves you skeptical ghost hunter realness, and the end has a surprise twist that neither of us saw coming. 

Episode 12: Crimson Wave

Sometimes the dang ol' menstruation jokes write themselves. And sometimes the movies do not. This week we trudged through Crimson Peak like so much red clay.

Careful. The stairways can be treacherous.

Episode 11: Sweenathan Todd

This week we watched the umpteenth collaboration from Hot Topic's favorite trio: Tim Burton, Helena Bonham-Carter, and Johnny Depp. Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Jamie Campbell-Bower, and a few other people whose names we've already forgotten round out the cast. Fake blood abounds. 

Don't talk to me before I've had my coffee, amirite?

Episode 10: EMMA MORLEY WAS HERE

This week, we dive into the adequately depressing One Day which dares to ask the question. "What even was the '90s?"

Thanks! I got it from Express.

Episode 9: Anta Karentinta

This week we watched the super-depressing, visually arresting 2012 adaptation of Anna Karenina with our best good Judy, Jenny. 

Episode 8: The Gender-Blind Crucible

This week we watched the 1996 film adaptation of an Arthur Miller play, The Crucible. Our girl Wino 4Ever serves an excellent performance here (as usual), even though it's a little odd for her to have played a 17-year-old two years after she played Jo March at various ages. The 90s were an odd time for portraying teenagers onscreen. 

Hell hath no fury like a pissed-off teenager.

In the episode, we look into the obvious ties between this story and the red scare Arthur Miller was living through when he wrote the play, as well as the historical accuracy and feminist implications of the story, but we'll keep the show notes pretty pithy.

Here are a few fun Crucible-related things you should look at: 

• "25 virgins and a bunch of Sprite at the Crucible cast party" 
• The title of this episode comes from 30 Rock's "Secret Santa" (season 4, episode 8). Watch it now before Netflix destroys my life by taking the show away. 

Episode 7: Nobody's Got No Class

In case you were wondering, yes, 2003's Chicago holds up (more or less), and we're every bit as delighted to see Christine Baranski as we were 14 years ago. Here are a few notes about the movie and the real-life events that inspired it: 

• Once again, we have a movie that won the Oscar in a year of CONTENDERS. This movie beat out Gangs of New York, The Hours, The Pianist and one of them li'l Hobbit movies y'all seem to like.
• Did you know Chicago the musical is based on a play written by Maureen Dallas Hopkins, who was basically Xtine Baranski's character IRL? When Maureen Charleston'd off this mortal coil, she was worth $31 million in today's money.
• To piggyback on that, Velma and Roxy were also based on real women. Read up on Belva Gaertner and Beulah Annan (Velma and Roxy respectively) on Wikipedia. It's a wild ride, sug. 
• Actual words from Belva (Velma): "No woman can love a man enough to kill him. They aren't worth it, because there are always plenty more. Walter was just a kid—29 and I'm 38. Why should I have worried whether he loved me or whether he left me? Gin and guns—either one is bad enough, but together they get you in a dickens of a mess, don't they?" Your fav couldn't and wouldn't ever.

We out here. 

Episode 6: Mona Lisa Smize

This week we watched a real Sherman sisters fave: Mona Lisa Smile, starring a bunch of apple-cheeked angels who look like they could be related to us. Here are a few notes:

• We were taught to say Modigliani's name incorrectly (as we suspected)
• Katya helpfully provided a side-by-side of MGH and Jeanne Tripplehorn for you to peruse. Which one's which?
• It's Marina Abramovic, not Maria Popova. Whoops. 
• Jackson Pollock's No. 5 sold for $165.4m at Sotheby's, not Christie's (my bad). At the time of the purchase in 2006, it was the most expensive painting ever sold. Now it ranks number 9. 
• I'm p sure I at least saw Kim Chi and Willam doing spon-con for Pond's cold cream on insta. Here's Miss Fame removing her makeup with it. 
• Honestly, who comes up with this stuff?

Bitch, who told you about me and William Holden?

Lindsay's take: I mean honestly, what's not to like? I loved this movie in 2003 and I love it now. I give it 5 out of 5 Venus of Willendorfs. 

Molly's take: Look, this isn't Revolutionary Road. She's not trying to get an Oscar but I LOVE HER. 5 out of 5 paint by number Van Goghs.

Next week we'll be watching another banger from Lindsay's high school days: Chicago. Watch it on Netflix to refresh your memory, if you're so inclined. 

Episode 5: Oscar in Error

This week we watched the Oscar-winning 1998 rom-com Shakespeare in Love.

Despite what Molly referred to as the "matching chips on our shoulders" about this movie, we actually enjoyed it. It's just that our sense of right and wrong prevents us from getting all the way to fandom, since there was another Elizabethan-era film from the same year that got passed over that is FULLY ICONIC in our minds.

'memba when GOOP beat Cate Blanchett? CATE. BLANCHETT? AS ELIZABETH?! 

Here are a few notes from this episode/generally about this movie: 

Lindsay's take: 4 out of 5 STOLEN OSCARS. I do have to admit that this one is still a good time, even though my loyalties will ever lie with Elizabeth. The soundtrack to this one is also p good. 

Molly's take: It's good. It's good. IT'S NOT AN OSCAR MOVIE. 4 out of 5 Joseph Fiennes' Lash Magic Extensions For Men.

(Next week we'll tackle the 2003 banger Mona Lisa Smile, in case you want to watch ahead of time.)